Over the years, I’ve developed a reputation for always having a smart comeback. I’d like to say it’s because I’m really quick, but the actual reason is this.
Many MANY times, while I was growing up and in young adulthood, a situation would occur in which I had no idea what to say. I'd end up saying nothing. I always felt so stupid.
As I’d drift off to sleep that night, my brain would make a sudden connection; I’d give myself a mental slap in the forehead and say, "OH CRAP! I shoulda said _______.
This happened often. A few years went by, and one day, someone left me an opening and I had the smart-assed retort!
It’s true, that old cliché… history does repeat itself.
So through the simple fact that I’ve lived several years and had many life experiences, I now have a library of snappy answers.I usually just blurt them out, of course making sure my audience will appreciate them. I don’t knowingly offend people unless they’ve pissed me off. I do refrain from saying things at times, because I’m unsure of how it will go over.
Today, Lyssa and I were exercising at Curves. Two older ladies were there, working out together. One was telling of her recent trip to the coast in her motor home. They had gone to sleep during a rainstorm, and she awoke to find the roof had leaked on HER side of the bed. I didn’t suggest to her that as long as she’s been married, she ought to know that the MAN is supposed to sleep on the wet spot.
What do you call it when you have the smart answer but don’t say it?
I don’t think restraint is a strong enough word, although perhaps I should be restrained.
Hmm.
Yep, in my later years Ive gotton to be a open mouth insert foot kinda person.
ReplyDeleteThank You for signing my guest book.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWhat I meant to say before kids started tugging at my sleeve.....
ReplyDeleteFunny story.
It reminded me of when I was newly pregnant and still freaking out about Matthew. An old lady at church asked when I was due and when I told her end of August (ha!) She said "Wow. You'll be carrying through the summer? What were you thinking? You didn't plan that very well, did you" If we hadn't been at church and in front of my Sunday School students I really, really wanted to say: "I was really only planning on having multiple orgasms that night, but thanks for asking."
*snort*
ReplyDeleteAnd what is it called when you blurt out a smart comeback, then immediately realize you shouldn't have done so? That's my forte. Whoops.
Oh Ami, I am writing this down in my mental notebook. Love it.
ReplyDeleteDon't hold back...life is short...laugh often.
ReplyDelete