Ostracize me

I have found a message board I like. I participate in the discussion occasionally, and have found lots of homeschooling moms with philosophies similar to mine. It's a welcoming place, and even the disagreements are civil and very articulate.
Unique.
I don't want to post the link, because there are many people who read this blog now, and most of them don't comment. I have no idea if y'all are perverts, old friends, shy or just have nothing much to say.

So if you don't already read there and would like to know more, email me at the address found in my profile and I'll send you more info.

On the board this last week was a question about participating in any sort of homeschool support group. I haven't read all the replies yet, but it brought back the memory of the first homeschool activity I ever attended.

I took my kids (Matt was seven, Alyssa, one) to homeschool skating at the local rink. I watched Matt skate and held Lyssa while she slept. No one approached me or sat at my table, even though I had on my best friendly face and smiled at several of them as they walked by with their kids. It seemed like most of them knew each other, they called out greetings as they joined their friends at tables, and their kids zipped out onto the skating floor. I felt invisible.

Finally, someone sat at the table behind me and said hello.
We introduced ourselves and chatted for about 30 seconds before she asked me, "What curriculum do you use?"

I answered that we were using various materials and supplementing heavily with field trips, nature hikes, science experiments and educational videos. As I spoke enthusiastically about how much fun we were having, her face changed.

When I paused, she said, quite bitchily,
"GOD wants you to use Abeka."

I matched her tone. "Well, GOD hasn't offered to buy my curriculum. I'm pretty sure he doesn't care what sort of school books I'm using anyway."

She turned her back on me! Then, she got up from her table and began working her way through the crowd, pausing at several tables to lean down and speak over the music to the people seated there. I noticed that each group turned to look at me as she did. Gosh, I wonder what she was telling them? Did my failure to use Abeka mean I was not worthy of kindness or a friendly attitude? I guess so!

Over the next few months, I called a couple support group telephone numbers and found that everyone I talked to expected me to sign a statement of faith to be able to join them.

Well, my faith is no one's business. My personal beliefs are exactly that. Personal.

I found it insulting when one of the people I talked with suggested that my refusal to sign one meant that it wasn't 'safe' for her children to be around MY children.

Further, at monthly support group meetings, there were NO CHILDREN ALLOWED! What the hell kind of support group for homeschoolers doesn't allow children?

I have many homeschooling friends now. No one expects me to sign anything. But based on the experiences I had in the beginning, I'm soured on "Christian" homeschool support groups forever. They just don't fit my expectations of decent people for my family to associate with.