You can't make this shit up.

I stopped by Goodwill today as I almost always do when out and about. I got an office type swivel chair for my daughter's room for $4.99, a brand new (complete with $80.00 Nordstrom store tag) gorgeous faded denim-y blue cardigan, two games for my work kids, a Koosh ball, and a package of index cards. It was 18 bucks. I love Goodwill.

While I was looking through paper, rubber stamps and general office supplies, a man entered the aisle down at the other end. He picked up a heavy duty stapler to look at. You know the kind I mean. It can shoot a one-inch staple through a sheet of plywood. Fairly lethal, and the one we own came with instructions to WEAR GOGGLES at all times while in use.

He turned the stapler in his hand, grabbed it like he was going to staple something, and squeeeezed the handle. A staple SHOT out and down the aisle. I heard it hit something at the end. Did he put the stapler down? No. He did NOT. He turned over in his hand, and squeeeezed the handle AGAIN!! And I'll be damned if he didn't get the same result! What a dumbass!

He evidently hadn't figured out that he was the one shooting staples in a crowded store. You'd think the noise and the 'kick' from the stapler would have gotten his attention, wouldn't you?

Nope.

I saw him turn the business end of the stapler toward his face. Surely he's not going to do it again, I thought, but he squeezed the trigger a third time!!! He did not shoot himself in the face. The staple parted his hair (I am not kidding here) and flew up over the top of the shelving in that aisle. He jumped back about a foot, threw it away from him and looked at it like it was a snake. You've seen a cat pounce on something only to crash into the wall and kind of sidle away, embarrased but with a little 'I meant to do that' attitude, right?

That was his demeanor as he quickly walked away.

I had to rush home and write about it.
:)