An hour or two from my life as a munchkin wrangler

I just couldn't seem to make myself actually focus long enough to write the post I was going to write yesterday.

And you know what? I don't know if I can do it properly now, either.

::trying to focus:::


Nope.

But!

I can certainly attempt to cut a slice of life from our little program, and you might get just a hint of the actual flavor as I serve it to you.

I'm sorry, but I won't be able to duplicate the noise level.

And unless you have kids of your own to line up and sniff while you read this post, you won't get that hot battery smell that shows up in groups of busy children, either.

But I'll bet you can imagine it.
:)

I am never bored at work. Ever.

It's relevant that I had to take migraine medication when I got out of bed on Tuesday morning, and although it sort of kind of took the edge off, the migraine monster was still very much with me all day long, filthy nails digging into my shoulders, foul breath blowing in my face.


Between a full blown angry game-piece-throwing-shouting-stomping-my-ears-are-plugged-and-I-can't-hear-you-my-back-is-turned-I-can't-see-you-and-I'm-shouting-noooooo-just-to-make-sure incident with our little autistic guy, two other kids who couldn't keep their hands off each other (bet you'd be surprised to know that one of them is Mark ) the telephone ringing like crazy, a dad who was pissed off that I wouldn't allow him to give me medication for his kid in an unmarked ziploc bag, a kid who kept annoying every other kid in the place and the fact that I had to open the door 12 times in 22 minutes to let more kids in, (I had three more children than was legal for a bit there) had to sign them in, advise two parents about our computer system, get them to sign permission slips for the zoo trip, label and bag six bottles of sunscreen and clean up some paint.. well, it was a hectic hour.

But wait.. there's even more!

I found the staples for Rachelle*, the bathroom pass for Melody*, the rubber bands for the GeoBoards for Brian*, a pen for the parents to write on their permission slips, grabbed a business card and scrawled our phone number on it for the parent who was dropping her daughter off for the first time ever in our program, grabbed a foosball for the kids who were waiting to play at the foosball table, explained to the kids playing at the pool table that the pool cues are for hitting the ball, they're not ninja swords and we don't want to whack anyone in the head, so please don't spin them, reminded Ethan* that he needs to walk in this room, tied Lacey's* shoe, looked at the picture that Christy* drew for me and pronounced it 'beautiful' and through all that, kept telling myself that I'd be able to pee in only 35 minutes, 15 minutes, 10 minutes...

Then Sunshine showed up and things calmed down. Two adults... divide and conquer... who use the same rules, the same calm demeanor, the same attitude and energy... well, it works.

Now I've handled stuff like that for several years.

I don't get flustered, I don't yell at kids, I just deal.

But I sometimes feel overwhelmed and drained at the end of a shift.

Not right now, though.
Right now, I handle it all with grace.
And.
I make it look easy.

(Really. You'd be impressed.)

I smile.
My voice is calm.
And then when my shift is over, I just go on to the next thing in my life.
I'm not wiped out, I'm not grumpy, I'm just.. fine.
Well, lately I am.

We all have our coping mechanisms.

And Wednesday went like this:

I worked from 6:15 until 10. At 10, I watched 37 kids (resplendent in their matching bright orange t shirts) get on the bus to head for the zoo. That was strange, because for the past four years, I have been on that bus with them.

Last year I went a month or so after the meniscus surgery.

Definitely not up to it today, though.
Nope.
Not a chance.
It would be too tough on the kids to have to drag me up and down all those hills all day after my knee gave out.
They'd miss half the exhibits.
Ha.

Got hugs from a few of the kids that I knew I wouldn't be seeing until school starts, and said a sad goodbye to a girl I had in my old program when I worked with Sunshine.

She is moving to a new town and Wednesday was her last day with us. She's one of my favorite kids ever and I'm really sorry to see her go, because I know I won't see her at all in any of our programs.
Ever.

::sigh::

That's the hard part of my job.
Saying goodbye to kids I adore.

I'm really amazed at the depth of feeling involved. I guess that's what happens when you let your heart open up, huh?

Even the kids who drive me nuts for years in a row hold little pieces of my heart. (okay... especially those kids. I can admit that here,right? You won't tell, will you?)

And when children age out of the program or move away, they take that piece with them.

So far, though, I still have plenty left.

So I drove home after waving at the kids as the bus left, thinking that I'd definitely have shed a few tears a little over a month ago.

I still have the feelings but they just don't cause me to cry.

Right now I feel okay about that.
The feelings aren't absent.
They just don't hurt.

I came home and dropped off my backpack and picked up my own kids.

We went Goodwill hunting.

Nothing really exciting, but we picked up a few items of clothing and some books to read.

It's rare for me to go anywhere and have both kids with me anymore.

I try to savor those moments. Love it when I'm browsing in an aisle and I hear them one aisle over, sharing a laugh over something. I love how close they are and how much they enjoy each other's company.

Got back home after a stop at the grocery store, and Matt went to bed. (He worked the graveyard shift last night.)

I was just sitting here this afternoon about four, minding my own business, not causing anyone any trouble, when my phone rang. I looked at the number on the caller ID.
Brashley's cell phone.

I should have trusted my first instinct and not answered the damn phone.

So now I'm working Thursday morning at 6:15.
Again.

I won't even try to say this is the last time... I keep saying that, and look where it gets me!

And because I'm home this afternoon, I am cooking dinner.
We're having a roasted chicken and I'm not sure what... probably some rice.


I called Eric's cell phone and knowing Lyssa would hear me from the living room, (and because I don't ever miss an opportunity to make her roll her eyes,) I asked him "What do you want on your chicken besides my hand?"

Lyssa said, "I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. I thought I was already scarred for life, but I know it for sure, now."

So I scrounged up a nickel for her therapy jar (had to pick off the pocket lint and some unknown sticky substance) and offered her a tissue to cry into.

Even though I know she acts all disgusted now with our joking around, I know she will look back and remember that Eric and I loved each other.

That we were friends.
That we laughed together all the time.
And even the really bad chicken jokes will someday make her smile.

And that for now at least, Mom is mellow.

:)