Am I weird?

Now before you get all excited because I've asked a question that you think you can easily answer, listen to the rest of the query, m'kay?

Am I weird because I like to plan so far ahead?

I must be.

See, I don't like surprises. I want things to be planned far enough ahead that the chance of any surprise is very small.

It's why I make a little mark on my calendar every month when my monthly cycle starts. (ends? I never can keep it straight. Is the start of one's period the beginning or ending of the cycle?)

I suppose I don't really need to chart it, since I can pretty much tell by the monthly bonus of a migraine, huh?

But I don't want to be out somewhere and not be prepared for it. I don't want to plan a camping trip and be miserable without a shower and my own bed to sleep in, for example.

Once, we were camping out in the wilds of Eastern Oregon. We were a good thirty miles over gravel roads from ANYWHERE. And my period showed up eight days early!

We had to drive to the town of Mitchell, Oregon for supplies.
mitchell, oregon - Google Maps

As you can plainly see if you clicked on that link, Mitchell is actually about 100 miles from anywhere else in all directions.

We drove to the only store in town. Sort of an old fashioned general store with some new age touristy stuff tossed in. It must be damned hard to make a living there.

So inside the store, one finds fishing equipment, small appliances, groceries, antiques, ice, t-shirts, toys, greeting cards, candy, hats, silverware, place settings, oil paintings, thunder eggs, small shallow pans for panning gold, camping equipment... well, you probably get the idea. Lots of stuff.

They're seriously limited in their selections, though. There was only one brand of tampon available. Playtex. The most hideously uncomfortable tampon in history.

May as well fold up the comics section from the newspaper until it's all corners, wrap it with sandpaper and stuff it. I'm serious. Oh. My. Gawd.

I picked up a box anyway. What the hell else was I going to do?

That box of tampons was seven bucks.
The price sticker bore the True Value hardware logo.

::snort::

You know, even when I sit down with a topic firmly in my mind I still digress.

::wandering back to the subject:::

The upcoming event with my troop has me in a planning frenzy. I have been going through my craft supplies and spending a lot of time thinking about scheduling. I want things to run smoothly, so I try to visualize every single step of every single thing we do. I envision myself on the trail, opening the package and following all the instructions enclosed.

I think about what chores (capers in GS language) need to be done while we're there. This time, I will write them all down on a chart and let the GIRLS fill in who does what.

The maturity level of this troop is very high. They're quite capable of planning and making it fair. And I am going to let them do it.

But it's bugging me that it won't be done before we get there. It's (gasp) unfinished business!

I think about every step of every meal, down to which seasonings I need to bring.

I think about ALL of it. ALL the time.

My notebook has been going almost everywhere with me. When something pops into my head, I can write it down.

Last week, I wrote three things on my hand while I was at work because I was afraid I'd forget them.

I have seven pages of lists. Seven.
If things don't go off perfectly, I will have no excuse, huh?

If I am totally ready by the time it's time to go, I will feel better. If I still have a lot left to accomplish before then, I make myself ill over it.

Lyssa is getting ready to go to camp in August, too. I sat down this morning and looked up directions to drive her to the location where the bus will pick her up. That does not happen until August 18th, but now I know where she has to be. It helps me feel calmer now that I know.

I'm thinking about what else I need to buy for her and worrying about how I'm going to afford any extras.

I'm in a tizzy over school supplies, too. I have NO idea what she's supposed to bring for school. I have received nothing in the mail regarding her school schedule or who will be teaching her or what time her bus arrives in the morning or ANYTHING. I want to know now. Today. It's bugging the crap out of me. I'd have it all bought and put away already if I knew.

What is it in me that freaks out when I don't know what's coming next?
I just don't do spontaneous.

Spontaneous upsets me.

I am weird.

::sigh::