While we're on the subject of faith...

I once was suspected of harboring the devil.

At least that's how I interpreted it.

I know, I know, a fat housewife with a warped sense of humor and a smartassy attitude isn't usually someone to fear, but apparently I was pretty scary.

Back in about 2002, I signed Lyssa up for a public school sponsored program. It was intended to be a supplemental thing.
Electives, really.
PE, art, band, drama.

She enjoyed the classes for the most part. One of the things we had to agree to in signing up for these classes was that we'd attend the two days per week for 12 weeks as the funding for the program was contingent on attendance.

I had conversations with several homeschooling moms during those weeks.

One morning after I'd dropped Lyssa off, one decided to stop and talk to me in the hallway at the other end of the building.

She was friendly, we chatted about homeschooling (she'd just started) and about the classes being offered.

Then she asked me, "What curriculum do you use?"
That's a standard homeschooler question, or was back then at least.
"Oh we don't use curriculum. We learn from all kinds of things."

She looked surprised. We had a little bit of conversation about it, she was under the impression that it wasn't possible to teach a child to read without first teaching them phonics. She didn't think kids would learn anything if you didn't MAKE them do lessons. She used christian curriculum, she told me, and suggested that everyone should.

I told her that my older kid had done very well without all that stuff and that neither of my children had ever had a phonics lesson.
She looked skeptical, but let it go.

Then she asked, "What church do you go to?"

"Oh we don't do church. We're atheists."

The change in her demeanor was just...stunning.
She gasped. Physically stepped back from me, mouth open, eyes wide.
She raised her hand, palm toward me.

And from her mouth (loudly) came this sentence, all the words shoved together and spewing forth like a waterfall.

"SatanIBindYouInTheNameOfJesusChrist!!" she said, and turned from me and RAN out the door. She jumped in her vehicle and I swear to you, the tires chirped as she left the parking lot.

She withdrew her two daughters from the program immediately, never mind about the 12 weeks thing. I heard from one of the registration moms that she'd called and said that she did not want her daughters hanging out with the children of unbelievers and that if the school wanted to offer these classes again, perhaps they should screen the  participants a little better.

What's the old Groucho Marx quote?
Ah, found it.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

Ah, the good old days.