NMM...did you know?? (and other stuff)

Apparently, May is National Masturbation Month!
  NMM

I read that on CNN on Friday afternoon. Kinda pisses me off that May is almost over and I'm just getting the news now... from the way some of the people I've seen on the road lately have been driving, they apparently know it. Swear to God that half of them are beating off as they motor down the road.

And no shit... June is Carpal Tunnel Awareness Month.

What's July? Seeing Eye dog month?

And is it just me, or is it piss poor planning to hold NMM six months away from Global Orgasm for Peace, which happens in December?

You'd think the left hand doesn't know what the right one's doing!

~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>

Lyssa and I both got our hair cut on Friday.
Or I suppose trimmed is a better way to put it, since neither one of us really looks like we've had a haircut.

We sat in the waiting area looking at the hairstyle book for trendy and hip young men. And laughed and laughed. I so enjoy the company of my daughter. We don't get to spend as much time together as I'd like, but when we do hang out, we always have a good time. She's almost as big a smartass as her mother.

The hairstyle book was hysterical.
About a quarter of the "guys" pictured were wearing lip gloss.
Many of them were very androgynous.

I don't have a problem with that, though.

I just can't imagine someone looking like one of those guys on purpose. Full, pouty lips and the whole Emo thing.
::snort::

And the hair styles? I don't know anyone who'd go out in public looking like that. If I saw someone in the grocery store wearing his hair that way, I'd laugh. Wouldn't be able to help it.

~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>
There's an old joke where you ask someone, "Hey, if you went camping and woke up with Vaseline on your ass, would you tell your (wife/husband/boyfriend/girlfriend)?

And when the person answers no, you leer and say, "Wanna go camping?"

Eric is going to go camp with a couple guys from work this weekend. I was thinking about putting a tube of Astroglide in his backpack. We don't have any Vaseline.

~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>

Went to the local DEQ (dept of environmental quality) on Friday to re-register my vehicle for the next two years. Thanks to our 'representatives' in local and state government, the fee has doubled since the last time. Billed as a transportation package to help get the economy on its feet, they're too chickenshit to say what it really means.

More taxes.

Just another chapter in the continuing ass rape of the people of Oregon.
A hearty and well-deserved FUCK YOU VERY MUCH to Senator Laurie Monnes Anderson, former state rep Nick Kahl and former Oregon governor and all-around fuckwit and champion reprobate, Ted Kulongoski.

Thanks also to the assholes of Multnomah County/Metro who have also tacked on a fee to pay for a bridge that something like 95% of our county doesn't even use, while the county that uses the bridge pays NOTHING.

All of those factors combined ended up costing me money I can't afford to spend. As usual.

Tell me again how if we just vote we can change things?

If voting actually made a difference, it would not be legal.
~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>
Didn't get up until after 8, which is really sleeping in for me.
But I had to force myself to get up, I would have laid in bed all day long. Felt so good to be warm, relaxed all the way through and not have to get up at 5, shower, and head out the door by 6 AM.
Hm. Did some laundry. Dishes. Ran some errands. Tried to rest a bit. Had my feet worked on. It's always painful, but it seems to help me. Feet have been pretty bad lately.

~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>

Matt decided to buy his sister something special for her 18th birthday this year.
He bought her the most expensive gift she's ever received. A laptop.

Now you may wonder why I'm announcing it here on my blog when her birthday isn't until June 18, and you probably know she usually reads here, but he could not STAND to wait to give it to her. So she got it on Friday afternoon, about three hours after it was delivered by the UPS man.

To say she was surprised doesn't even begin to cover it. The look on her face was awesome.

I love that my kids LIKE each other and that Matt was able to get her such a great present.

I'd be jealous, but I already have a laptop and mine is great for my needs. I don't need a big super computer. But Lyssa's new one is pretty nice!

~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>

I probably shouldn't mention it, but it's been a few days since the dog shit on the floor inside the house. She is really starting to have some memory/confusion issues. Matt said the other day that she went out into the yard, checked the fence line, walked all the way to the back gate, then came back and crapped on the back porch.
::sigh::
~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>
Okay. I have to get to bed because Saturday is study day. I'm required to have a certain amount of continuing education every year, and the first part of the training is to be completed by the end of the school year. That doesn't leave me much time to do the coursework. I had planned to work on it last weekend, but was sidelined by the killer migraine from hell and never even thought about it.
~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>~~~>

Oh. And last. I'm losing several kids at the end of the school year. Some are going on to middle school. There are a few moving away, too. I learned about one of them on Thursday afternoon. His mom told me the name of the local school he'd be attending, and asked how the after school program was at that school.

::gulp::

I can't bad mouth someone who is doing the same job I do. For the same company. But he won't be happy in her program, and the parents won't be happy with the way Linda* runs things, either. She allows the kids to be, hm, batshit crazy. They're loud, obnoxious, undisciplined and very out of control. I have had several assistants-for-a-day who have worked at that site, and they ALL comment on what a madhouse it is.

I found myself not lying, but sort of dancing around the truth. I said that there is a high turnover in our company (true) and that Linda might not be running the program next year. (Also true). But neglected to say that she's been there three years. And will probably be back in the fall.

I also mentioned that each program is different, based on the site director, the location, the amount of training they've had and how seriously they take the job. All true, too.

I just never said, "It's a friggin' madhouse, don't do it!!" And I find it strange how... conflicted I am.

The little guy in question (Drew of sword fame) is kind of a handful at times, but he's a nice kid for the most part. And with the shenanigans that Linda's* crew gets up to, he's gonna be eaten alive if he ends up in that program.

And I can't say that to his mom.